The 15 Funniest George Costanza Quotes

It is no secret that the perfect and funniest George Costanza quotes from Seinfeld rival even Jerry Seinfeld’s personal traces from the present. Jason Alexander was robbed of an Emmy win a number of instances whereas spending 9 years enjoying Jerry’s neurotic finest pal George Costanza, a personality identified for his horrible unhealthy luck and questionable life choices. Fan adoration and big essential acclaim proceed to offer credit score the place credit score is due, nevertheless, as George continues to be largely thought to be one of many biggest sitcom characters of all time.

Notably, George Costanza relies on Seinfeld co-creator and head author, Larry David, one of the crucial foundational comedic voices of his era. Cleverly, reasonably than turning into a caricature of Larry David, Jason Alexander as an alternative gave George his personal voice, making a definitive curmudgeon character that predates even Larry David’s semi-autobiographical protagonist in Curb Your Enthusiasm. Straight from the mouth of the self-proclaimed Lord of Idiots, listed below are the best, funniest, and most meme-able George Costanza quotes from Seinfeld.

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15 “Squirrel? Properly, We Have No Deal With Them!”

Season 9, Episode 6, “The Merv Griffin Present”

George had been dwelling by an unwritten code cast between New Yorkers, and the pigeons that dwell inside. Pigeons received out of the best way of vehicles, and New Yorkers regarded the opposite method on the statue defecations. Nonetheless, George finds that the pigeons have seemingly gone again on their deal as, whereas driving together with his girlfriend, he runs over a flock of them, making her see him as a heartless animal killer.

In an try to point out that he was extra heroic than she thought, George took it upon himself to purposely swerve out of the best way of a pigeon once they subsequent rode collectively. Sadly, he failed to identify a close-by squirrel which he ran over as an alternative. George’s lack of regret for that a lot cuter animal is hilarious as he reverts again to his unusual concept that there exists some pact between animals and people that the squirrel isn’t any a part of.

14 “You Ought to’ve Seen The Look On Her Face! It Was The Identical Look My Father Gave Me After I Instructed Him I Wished To Be A Ventriloquist!”

Season 3, Episode 7, “The Cafe”

Whereas Kramer’s schemes in Seinfeld get all the eye, George has some terrific ones that normally find yourself blowing up in his face. Determined to impress a really mental lady, George requested Elaine to take his I.Q. check for him so he may faux a great outcome. Sadly, a collection of mishaps induced Elaine to mess the check up and trigger his rating to plummet to an unimaginable 85.

George comes again to Jerry’s place to confront Elaine with the shockingly low check outcomes which brings up a hilarious childhood reminiscence. There’s a lot to unpack within the joke with the concept of George eager to develop into a ventriloquist being virtually as humorous as imagining Frank Costanza’s response to this concept. It’s a reminder that George has at all times been on the shedding facet of life.

13 “Oh Noooooo! I am So Sorry, It is The MOOPS! The Right Reply Is ‘The Moops.'”

Season 4, Episode 7, “The Bubble Boy”

Amongst George’s many faults, he’s a very aggressive persona regardless of what’s at stake and who he occurs to be going up in opposition to. George and Susan discover themselves on the doorstep of a beloved younger man identified affectionately because the Bubble Boy by the local people, on account of his want to remain in a protecting bubble always. Sadly, the Bubble Boy is an entire jerk and gloats about dominating George in a recreation of trivial pursuit.

With the sport on the road, George pulls a card asking who invaded Spain in the course of the eighth century. The Bubble Boy accurately solutions “the Moors,” however George is all too joyful to make the most of a misprint on the cardboard which reads “Moops,” as an alternative. As a lot because the Bubble Boy is an obnoxious and impolite particular person, seeing George argue with the sick teen over a easy board recreation causes the character to sink to a brand new low.

12 “You are Giving ME The ‘It is Not You, It is Me’ Routine? I INVENTED ‘It is Not You, It is Me’!”

Season 5, Episode 6, “The Lip Reader”

George was such a loser that he truly took satisfaction in being dumped. An instance occurred when his annoyed girlfriend broke up with him by giving him the basic “it is not you, it is me” line. So insulted was George that he got here down arduous on her for daring to make use of an excuse so apparent. Unwilling to be lied to, George insisted that it wasn’t in reality her – however himself – who was the issue. When she lastly acknowledged that it was, in reality, George, he replied “You are rattling proper it is me!”

In fact, Geroge’s girlfriend was solely making an attempt to spare him his emotions and let him down simply. Nonetheless, George isn’t one to make any social scenario simple, turning it right into a hilarious settlement from each of them that he’s certainly the issue within the relationship. Given how freely each of them conform to this, the truth that George nonetheless will get girlfriends on Seinfeld would not make a lot sense.

11 “I’m Disturbed, I’m Depressed, I’m Insufficient – I’ve Received It All!”

Season 4, Episode 15, “The Visa”

George Costanza has gone to nice lengths on many events to persuade ladies that he’s a standard, well-adjusted man to get dates. Nonetheless, the one time he truly managed it, she turned out to be extra within the form of depressed loser that he truly was in his on a regular basis life. Realizing that Jerry’s fun-loving comedy persona was a significant hit with the women, George pressured him to behave like a depressed killjoy with the intention to make himself look higher.

The plan backfired when George’s date discovered herself extremely interested in Jerry’s darkish and disturbed fake persona, prompting George to panic and shout this line. To be truthful to George, he’s telling this lady the reality and makes an attempt to focus on how darkish and unhappy he’s by confessing all the ruse with Jerry to her. Sadly, that isn’t the form of broken love curiosity she was in search of.

10 “Oh, No, Thanks. I Can’t Drink Espresso Late At Night time. It Retains Me Up.”

Season 2, Episode 4, “The Cellphone Message”

That is a type of George Costanza quotes that completely captures simply how horrible he’s in relation to interacting with ladies. When a girl invitations George up for espresso, he declines with this line. A lot to his horror, he figures out virtually instantly the error he made and, in typical George vogue, he spirals into self-loathing. This contains him declaring about himself that “Folks this silly shouldn’t be allowed to stay.”

As humorous as his mistake is, seeing him stay with remorse is even funnier. George usually complains about how life has been always unfortunate for him and that he can’t catch a break. Whereas there are some moments that might recommend that was true, this scene hilarious means that perhaps George can be simply clueless and he lets good alternatives move him by on account of his full cluelessness.

9 “We Have Watched You Take Our Beloved Yankees And Cut back Them To A Laughing Inventory!”

Season 5, Episode 22, “The Reverse”

On this iconic Seinfeld episode, George decides to do the other of each considered one of his pure bumbling instincts. When he interviews for a job on the New York Yankees and meets George Steinbrenner, he launches right into a rant that may usually tank anybody else’s employment possibilities. George pulls no punches as he tells Steinbrenner precisely what’s on his thoughts. Evidently, the other transfer turned out to be the proper one, after Steinbrenner replied “Rent this man!”

George could be a very unlikable character more often than not, as humorous as he’s. Nonetheless, there’s something enjoyable about seeing him lastly successful for the primary time, particularly in such a inventive method. It’s a disgrace that he did not sustain his “reverse” concept as he reverted again to his self-conscious persona and went again to shedding recurrently.

8 “I Know I’m Not Cartwright!”

Season 2, Episode 11, “The Chinese language Restaurant”

“The Chinese language Restaurant” is just not solely one of many finest Seinfeld episodes, nevertheless it additionally helped to form the way forward for the collection because it confirmed how a lot comedy might be mined by setting all the episode inside a Chinese language restaurant as George, Jerry, and Elaine watch for a desk. Among the many obstacles, George is ready for a name from a girl just for him to overlook the vital name when the restaurant supervisor calls out for “Cartwright” as an alternative of Costanza.

It’s a hilarious second with the supervisor explaining the scenario as if he did the whole lot accurately and there was nothing extra he may have achieved. That is adopted by George strolling again to Jerry and Elaine in shocked silence, making an attempt to rationalize what simply occurred. It is not till Jerry interjects with the unhelpful “You’re not Cartwright” that George lastly snaps.

7 “Was That Unsuitable? Ought to I Not Have Accomplished That?”

Season 3, Episode 12, “The Crimson Dot”

George is perhaps a meek and underwhelming man generally, however he will be fairly daring in relation to a lie. After George will get a job on the identical workplace Elaine works at, he decides to have intercourse with the cleansing lady on prime of his personal desk. George’s new boss, Mr. Lippman, shortly finds out about it and confronts George with the accusation. Whereas George initially acts like it’s ridiculous, as soon as he learns the cleansing woman instructed on him, he hilariously makes an attempt to recommend he did not comprehend it was improper.

It’s the form of gaslighting and big lie that George can commit to higher than anybody with him even going as far as to say that this was the kind of factor that went on in any respect of his different jobs with out it being an issue. There’s something to be admired about such an try as pathetic as it’s.

6 “It’s Not A Lie If You Consider It.”

Season 6, Episode 16, “The Beard”

Few George Costanza quotes sum up the character as a lot as this one. Whereas it’s typically seen as an unpleasant trait to have, among the many immoral characters on Seinfeld, George’s mendacity is sort of a superpower that others search to achieve for themselves. When Jerry took a lie detector check after his policewoman girlfriend refused to imagine he’d by no means seen an episode of Melrose Place, George realized he couldn’t educate him the way to lie. He did, nevertheless, provide him this fantastically immoral snippet of knowledge.

Goerge is just not a person identified for his clever phrases or deep pondering, so it’s hilarious that one of many few instances he chooses to impart teachings to another person is about mendacity. What makes it even funnier is that actor Jason Alexander delivers the road with a way of self-seriousness as if it have been a really profound factor to introduce into the world.

5 “The Sea Was Offended That Day, My Buddies! Like An Previous Man Making an attempt To Ship Again Soup In A Deli!”

Season 5, Episode 14, “The Marine Biologist”

George’s epic Seinfeld speech in “The Marine Biologist” is without doubt one of the most iconic moments within the present’s historical past. Additionally it is an epically heroic second for the character that seems off-screen and makes his recounting of the story all of the extra entertaining. Whereas posing as a marine biologist to impress a lady, George comes throughout a beached whale and is known as upon to avoid wasting its life.

George is seen recounting the story to his mates within the diner, placing some hilarious flourished onto the wild fish story. Whereas his mates are engrossed within the story, it’s hilarious to see their reactions when he delivers this line. Jerry’s expression specifically is priceless as he’s confused and needs to query it, however decides that he would reasonably not interrupt the story that is already in movement.

4 “Worlds Are Colliding!”

Season 7, Episode 8, “The Pool Man”

Most individuals who’ve been in a long-term relationship can relate to George’s “Worlds are colliding!” concept. One’s circle of mates and associate appear fully separate, and in the event that they’re collectively in the identical room, it may be awkward. It truly is like worlds are colliding – a wonderfully apt metaphor, making this one of the crucial relatable George Costanza quotes.

It is even worse if worlds are colliding in a great way, comparable to when Elaine and Susan develop into friends. If Susan joined George’s friendship group and began hanging round with Jerry and Elaine, “relationship George” would have needed to merge with “impartial George,” resulting in the demise of the latter. His hilariously dramatic rationalization of what’s at stake is without doubt one of the finest facets of this episode with him insisting “if relationship George have been to return by that door he would kill impartial George!”

3 “However You Are, Blanche! You Are In The Shackles!”

Season 4, Episode 12, “The Airport”

It would not take loads for George to get intimidated or scared. This is similar man who pushed previous ladies and youngsters out of his method when he thought that there was a hearth at a kids’s celebration. Nonetheless, underneath the proper circumstances and with the dangers decreased, George can get daring with whom he talks again to. Within the episode “The Airport,” as George will get to the final journal on the shelf earlier than a convicted felony (who’s photographed on the duvet), he channels Bette Davis within the film What Ever Occurred to Child Jane?

Within the film, there’s a second the place Blanche tells Jane, “You wouldn’t be capable to do these terrible issues to me if I weren’t nonetheless on this chair,” and Jane gleefully replies, “However you’re, Blanche! You might be in that chair!” Equally, the felony tells George, “If I wasn’t in these shackles…” and George – in the identical gleeful tone as Davis’ Jane – replies, “However you’re, Blanche! You might be within the shackles!”

2 “Oh Yeah? Properly, The Jerk Retailer Referred to as. They’re Working Out Of YOU!”

Season 8, Episode 13, “The Comeback”

Alongside together with his mendacity and self-loathing, George’s pettiness is considered one of his defining attributes and makes for a few of the funniest moments within the present. George will go to nice lengths to get justice for a perceived slight. After being insulted by a co-worker for his ravenous devouring of all of the shrimp within the assembly, he struggles to plot the proper comeback for his or her subsequent fateful encounter.

Finally, he settles on “Oh, yeah? Properly, the jerk retailer referred to as. They’re operating out of you!” Not solely is it a weak comeback, nevertheless it’s pummeled into submission by his nemesis’ subsequent reply, which fully deflates what little affect it needed to start with. It might sound lame, however that is precisely why this is without doubt one of the funniest George Costanza quotes, as George wears his lameness proudly.

1 “Please, A Little Respect, For I Am Costanza, Lord Of The Idiots.”

Season 2, Episode 5, “The Residence”

In an early season of Seinfeld, George tries out a social experiment by sporting a marriage ring to see if it makes him extra approachable to ladies. He finally ends up lacking out on a friends-with-benefits scenario, plus courtside seats to each sporting occasion at Madison Sq. Backyard. All through the episode, Jerry and George have been arguing over who’s the larger fool.

This is without doubt one of the George Costanza quotes that led Mike Costanza – Jerry Seinfeld’s previous pal who the character was named after – to sue NBC and declare that his identify had been slandered by being depicted as, amongst different issues, the “Lord of the Idiots.” In fact, the true George is extra precisely Larry David and he appears to have been greater than prepared to permit a model of himself to be depicted in such a hilarious pathetic method.